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"Why would I sign a waiver giving you permission to break
my glasses?" I
asked, incredulously.
"It's standard policy with frames that were not purchased in our store."
he said. "Some
people bring in older plastic ones that can break when we put lenses in them."
"These are not older frames, so I
shouldn't have to sign it."
"It's policy." he said, shrugging his shoulders helplessly.
"If you are willing to lose my business over my not signing
a waiver, then you
must think there's a good chance my frames will get broken. In that case, I am
definitely not signing anything."
Grabbing my prescription, I prepared to leave.
Before I could get up, the sales rep
offered a compromise that did not require my signing the waiver. Still, I left
feeling anything but victorious.
Why is everything so hard?
I wondered as I walked toward my van. Buying a pair
of glasses should be easy, like ordering a value meal from McDonald's.
"Yes, I'd
like a #4 with anti-reflective coating to go," I would tell the cashier as she took my order
with a smile. Instead, no one was smiling—certainly not me—as I searched for my insurance card, called to confirm
that my policy covered an unlimited number of lenses, and relayed
this information to the
service rep so he could adjust my bill accordingly.
An hour after the
insurance issue was resolved, I was
still upset about the experience. Looking for answers, I turned to the book, 9 Things You Simply Must Do,
by Dr. Henry Cloud. On page thirty-three, Dr. Cloud explained that successful people listen to what is going on inside
and, whether it's good
or bad, bring it up and deal with it.
Deciding to take his advice, I called the
main office of the eyeglass
store and asked to speak
with a manager. When one came on the line and I told her what happened, she
promptly sided with the sales rep
for following policy and thanked me for calling. Disappointed but undaunted, I turned to another page in Dr. Cloud's book
to learn
that "the reality of the life we see and live on the outside
is one that emerges from the inside". (p. 26)
If this is true, I
thought, that our internal life creates our
external one, had my wariness of sales people become a self-fulfilling prophecy?
By expecting conflict, had I created it?
Even if I hadn't, I decided, I was
responsible for the lesser crime of
trying to control the behavior of
others, at the expense of managing my own. I was also guilty of forgetting
that the end sometimes justifies the means as we give a little
along the way, to get what we need at the end of the day.
Jesus kept
the end in mind when he submitted himself to the ultimate
unfair treatment on the cross. As we walk in his footsteps,
how can we not try to do the same?
I went to bed that night
reminded that some conflicts aren't meant to be resolved in our favor, just
revisited forever. It is only when we learn from what we live through that our vision improves,
and we see that our experiences weren't so unnecessary after all.
Two Quotes
to Grow On
"When
we face our demons and our pain, we 'reclaim the land' of
our hearts and souls. You come through that suffering being
better than who you were when you went in. You get back what
had been taken and find extra character to boot."
-Dr.
Henry Cloud,
9 Things You Simply Must Do: To Succeed In Love And Life, p.
35
"When trouble is all you seem to find; don't
lose control, keep
the end in mind."
-Julie Albin
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