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While running errands one afternoon, I decided to call my favorite Chinese
restaurant to order a late lunch for myself and something for Katie and Hollie
to share when they came home from school.
“I’d like one order of garlic chicken and a small orange chicken,” I announced.
“No have small orange chicken,” the restaurant employee replied.
“Yes you do, it’s on your lunch menu.”
“Which menu?”
“The one that is taped to your counter,” I announced. “Look at it. You’ll see
that orange chicken is there.”
“You must be thinking of old menu,” the man insisted.
“No, it’s on the new menu. The owner of your restaurant added it just for
me.”
“No small orange chicken on new lunch menu,” the employee repeated.
“I ordered a small orange chicken for lunch just last week,” I assured him. “Ask
the owner, he’ll remember.”
“Owner no here.”
Frustrated by my failure to place a simple order, I pondered my next move …
until it became clear that I didn’t have one.
“I guess I won’t order anything,” I snapped before promptly ending the call.
I had been dealing with this restaurant for more than a year. Many times I had
thought about giving up and going elsewhere. This was one of them as I drove in
the opposite direction of the restaurant to run one more errand before heading
home.
Why am I such a magnet for conflict?
I wondered as I entered Sam’s Club to purchase a few needed items.
Feeling “harassed at every turn”[i]
like the apostle Paul after he arrived in Macedonia, I put my grocery shopping
on hold and headed for the book aisle in search of advice. As I scanned the new
titles available, one in particular caught my eye.
“Conflict Free Living: How to Build Healthy Relationships for Life,” I
read aloud.
Too timely to pass up, I reached for the book by Joyce Meyer and thumbed through
its pages until the contents of a shaded box captured my attention.
“Rather than trying to make someone treat you fairly,” the author explained,
“pray for them, and trust God to take care of you.”[ii]
Not liking what I read, I flipped to another page which offered similar advice:
“When someone offends you, resist strife by responding with mercy and
understanding. Give the person the benefit of the doubt. Remember that love
always believes the best.”[iii]
From these quotes, it became clear that the only way out of this conflict was
through it as I continued to frequent the restaurant. What I didn’t understand
was why. Why, after everything the restaurant owner put me through during the
past eighteen months,
would anyone—even God—expect me to stay?[iv]
Maybe because you have something to learn,
a voice whispered after leading me to page 5 where I read: “Strife is not just a
problem between people; it's often a problem within a person. What is going on
inside of you?”
What is going on inside of me? I wondered. Why do I think I have to correct every
injustice that comes my way?
The
idea that God might be trying to teach me something made me think of the prophet
Jeremiah when he delivered this promise from God: “For I know the plans I have
for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to
give you hope and a future.”
If
Jeremiah 29:11 applies, not just to careers, but to conflicts as well, then God's
plan for this one was to teach me that my strong
sense of fairness had become a weakness as I took matters into my own hands and
refused to place them in God’s.
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